week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
