my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
and eventually we just all took our pants off
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
