the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
