I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
