Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
