In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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