we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
