Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
