i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
