it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I came so hard my ears popped.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
