dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
