Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
