i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
