you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
