the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We have started to decorate penises.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
