Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
