he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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