he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
