like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I want to be your penis for a week.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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