wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
