There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
