She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
