tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
