All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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