I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My penis needs a shock collar
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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