do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
