My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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