i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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