ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
