Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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