Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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