It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
