I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
