Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
