I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
