Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
