Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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