You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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