You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
