She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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