Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Terrible idea I love it
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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