He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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