i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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