goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I want to make a zoo with you.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
