please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
