Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
