What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
