put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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