Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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