D3 body, D1 cock
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
